So... About those Ducks?

   I was just wondering if anyone knew where the ducks go when they leave the pond at central park for the winter. Feeling kind of depressed, wondering how they can just up and leave. Do they fly all the way down south for the winter? That seems kind of hard to believe. Wouldn’t they get tired and hungry on their trip? How would a duck make a trip that big without a bus ticket?

   I asked my cab driver today since he seemed like a nice guy and all, but he kept talking about the goddamn fish that stay in the pond all winter long. That seems strange too, what they do. They have to stay in the pond, so they go to a warm spot together and sleep through the winter! They eat and breathe through pores on their skin or something. Anyway, I didn’t care about the stupid fish, but the sonuvabitch wouldn’t stop going on about them. I’m glad we weren’t going out for drinks or something because he probably wouldn’t stop talking about those fish anyway.

   Sometimes I wish I could fly south for the winter, and get away from this goddamn city

'Round and 'Round

   So I took Phoebe to the carousel today (She's my 10 year old sister). She really seemed to like it. She got up to the carousel and walked around in a circle to get to the horse that she wanted. She ended up riding the carousel twice and rode the same horse both times. So I sat there on the bench near it and just watched her go around, and around, and around in a circle until it stopped. I was so nervous that she was going to fall but figured if she fell, she fell. It started to rain and I got pretty drenched. I just sat there on the bench watching all the other parents scramble to go and get there kids and all. All of a sudden I felt so goddam happy watching Phoebe go around in circles in her nice blue coat and all. You really should’ve been there.

                              

R.I.P Allie Caulfield

   I have a little brother named Allie. He died died of leukemia on July 18, 1946. He was only eleven years old, and I was thirteen. The night he died, was the worst night of my life! I broke all the windows in the garage that night, and I had to go to the hospital because I had a major anxiety attack. He was the sweetest kid you’d ever meet, and he was a red head. He loved to play baseball, and write poems on his left-handed baseball mitt. He was such a good kid, and he was so special to me. He was different then most kids his age, he was nice, and kind, and gentle, and he always had a certain way to do his own things. He always used green ink for anything. He wouldn’t use any other colour pen, but green ink. Green wasn’t even his favourite colour, purple was. Man, he was so special. I loved him so much. No one in my family has really been the same since the night he died, my mom especially. I hope she never has to go through anything like that ever again.
   I’ve been pretty different since he died… He was my best friend, and when I lost him. I had no one else to turn to.  I’ve become depressed, and just haven’t felt myself without Allie. I still talk to him, when there’s a problem or stress in my life, I talk to Allie, and I just imagine what he would be saying if he was here. It helps me more than anything.
   I know he’s in a better place. I’m at peace knowing that he didn’t have to go through this phony world, because it just gets phonier as we get older.

Busted Nose

       My roommate’s name is Stradlater, he’s a pretty arrogant guy. He’s huge and he must think that he can push me around or something. But man, do I ever hate that kid so much. He tried forcing me to write his stupid composition for English. I had to write descriptively about a plain old object. So I wrote about my dead bother’s baseball mitt. It was really good, I think. But it wasn’t good enough for Stradlater. It pissed him off that I didn’t write about a bedroom or a table or something boring. He hated that I never followed the rules. He claimed that’s why I was getting the boot out of Pencey.

      I was annoyed with Stradlater bashing my composition, so I tore it up and threw it in the garbage. He can write his own damn essay as far as I’m concerned! I smoked a cigarette after I did that, just to piss Stradlater off even more. He was on a date with my good friend Jane, and he was refusing to tell me any of the details of their night. It was pissing me off. So I attacked Stradlater, but because he’s much bigger than me, he had me pinned to the ground in no time. I was insulting him like crazy, and man, does he ever hate it when you call him a moron. It was really eating at him, me calling him a moron over and over again. He must have been starting to believe me. Well he didn’t take me calling him that much longer before he took a really good swing at my face. I was bleeding like a mad man. I hate that kid so much. I’ve only been in one other fight in my life, and that one didn’t end very well either.

    Stradlater was actually worried that he hurt me a lot, probably only because he’s phony and was scared that he was going to get in trouble for bloodying my nose and breaking it or something. I’m glad he left the room after. I don’t want to see him ever again.

So Long, Phony Pencey Prep

     I was informed that I’m being kicked out of my school, Pencey Prep. It’s in Agerstown, Pennsylvania. I really don’t mind that much, I hate that school anyways. It’s swarmed with a bunch of phonies, and there’s nothing I hate more than phonies. Not to mention, I can’t see any ladies around goddamn place. I guess because it is an all-boys school. But still, I would like to go to a place where I can some girls around. I’d really like to talk to more girls.

     I don’t care that I’m leaving this hellhole. Even the principles of this place are bigger phonies than the students! The motto at Pencey is “Since 1888 we have been molding boys into splendid, clear-thinking young men.” That is a load of bull. All the principles care about here is their reputation. We eat piles of pig slop six days a week, but on Saturday nights we have steak and potatoes for dinner. Why is that? Well that’s because most of the boys mothers come and visit them on Sundays, so that when the mom’s ask them what they had for dinner the previous night, they will be impressed to hear they had a hearty meal like steak and potatoes. That’s almost as phony as it gets. The food here sucks. Even the steak we have is like saw-dust.

     I got the boot from Pencey because I failed one of my academics. I know that I could have passed the course, but with all the phonies at this school I couldn’t be less concerned about staying there another semester longer. I hate my roommate and I never get along with my teachers. I just want a new school with some girls in it.
      I haven’t even told my mom or dad that I got the boot yet. The principals are sending me home when the Christmas holidays start. That’s when I plan on telling them.